I got married in September and I'm ready to change my last name. At first I wasn't going to take my husband's because my father's last name is very important to me but after discussing with my husband for hours, I decided that I would hyphenate it. He doesn't understand why I want to keep mine though. My last name is my identity, why should I have to change my identity just because I got married. I understand that it's respecting my husband by taking his name, but I also want to respect my father by carrying on his. I just want to know how to get my husband to understand.Changing my last name after marriage..?
It really shouldn't be an issue to your husband. This is who you are.
I told my mother this same thing 2 months ago and she cried. I hyphenated my last name because my Father was important and I wanted to identify with him.
All of my children are hyphenated, and we just explained to the 7 year old last week that she is a combination of two great families.
I hope this helps.Changing my last name after marriage..?
Well just do it. He seems to be okay with it. It's not like youre disgracing him or hurting him in any way.Changing my last name after marriage..?
Did you discuss this before you got married? Another thing to do, instead of hyphenating, would be to drop your middle name, have your maiden name become your middle name, and then his last name is your last name. I know of many people who have done this.Changing my last name after marriage..?
I think what you just said here sounds really straightforward. If your family name is important to you, keep it. It's not a slight to your husband. Actually, this 'change last name' thing is very much a Western cultural practice. It's not done that way in other places.
I know women who keep their family surname because they have a professional career and are recognized by that name.
I know *husbands* who have changed *their* last name.
It's all according to what you two agree on. It's your name - you have the final say on it, but keep trying different words with him and see if you can explain your preferences in terms he understands.Changing my last name after marriage..?
You can tell him that you are keeping it for sentimental reasons and you can compromise by saying that you will have people address you in his last name and that the children will carry his name only.Changing my last name after marriage..?
I hyphenated my last names for convenience. It is such a pain in the neck to change your name, you have to go to social security and DMV, then you have to think of bank accounts, credit cards, investment accounts, stocks etc, you've had your maiden name your whole life, so everything you've every done is in that name. Every time you change your name it seems like you have to send in a %26quot;copy%26quot; (with the seal) of your marriage license, which you have to pay for each %26quot;copy%26quot;. On top of all of the hassle, there's the issue of just getting checks that may be issued in your maiden name (rebates, elderly or stubborn relatives who may not remember your new name or may not know how to spell it etc).
I changed my name at DMV and Social security to be hyphenated as well as at my bank. My credit cards, retirement account, stocks that pay quarterly, and many other various accounts that I've had forever are all in my maiden name because it wasn't worth the hassle.
Having the bank know both names allows me to cash checks in either my old name my new name or the hyphenated name.
Everything new I do I open in my married name, but having it hyphenated allows me the freedom not to have to change everything from the past which would be tedious.
Maybe if you explain it to him as a matter of convenience and expense not so much of history, identity and pride. Men seem to understand logical decisions better than emotional ones.Changing my last name after marriage..?
Its not your identity, its a label. I can understand if you are the only child or there aren't any sons to carry on the name, but what are you going to do when you have children. Are they going to have the long hyphenated name or just their father's.Changing my last name after marriage..?
I went through the same thing when I got married, and now I have a hyphenated last name. I, too, felt strongly about keeping my last name, but I could tell it was important to my husband for me to take it. Hyphenation was a good compromise for us. Tell your husband that his opinion matters so much to you that you're willing to go through life with a cumbersome hyphenated last name (while he doesn't have to change a thing)! Hopefully he will see that you are willing to meet him halfway, so he should do the same. Point out that marriage is all about compromises, and that this will be the first of many that you two will have to make together. Good luck!
