(I prayed and begged God to change me, but it never happened. Now I am not %26quot;religious%26quot; and want love, but have a barrier and am afraid; maybe even changed so does that make me a worm?) I mean that I want, after all, a relationship with a man although don't like the %26quot;gay' world. It's a private matter for me - and I believe should be private (not all that gay pride stuff). Maybe I have been running away from myself all my life because I changed religions twice even; changes my name; changed the country/nationality. I was abused as a child - and couldn't leave home quick enough and that is when I started to change my identities. Please only serious answers. Thanks :-) %26quot;Bedouin%26quot;I fought my homosexuality with religion for 20 years - now unable to get over the barrier. HOW?
I think you need some counseling, but please dont' go to religious counseling; they will only try to further push their own agenda on you. It will take time and patience, but realizing you need help is the first step (cliche, I know, but true).
Never be ashamed of who you are or ever blame yourself for what others have done to you.
You sound like someone who deserves happiness and I wish you the best of luck.I fought my homosexuality with religion for 20 years - now unable to get over the barrier. HOW?
I'm sorry you went through that. However, there are books and studies which show that it is very rare, if ever, that gay people can change their orientation. It seems to me that people who suggest you haven't sincerely tried are just trying to make themselves feel better about their beliefs. Get some counseling (not religious) and consider joining a fairly civilized gay group, like a book discussion group. You should know by now that being gay is not just about sex; you need to connect with the person in other ways. You could also try meeting someone on the net because you can screen them better that way...I fought my homosexuality with religion for 20 years - now unable to get over the barrier. HOW?
I believe that when you honestly want Jesus to give you the strength to change you need to lay the burden at the alter and never look back. You say you fought with religion for 20 years but I didn't hear that you entirely gave up the burden. I am sure you must be completely horrified at what you are going through, wanting %26quot;love%26quot; yet knowing it is wrong Biblically. I encourage you to please read your Bible over and over, find solace in Him and ask Him to direct you to the specific scriptures you yearn for to help direct and develop your emotional and spiritual paths. The abuse you speak about could have very well set the path of this burden for you I am sure you know. At the same time you can seek private spiritual counsel to address these childhood horrors and prayerfully that will change your whole outlook. Abuse is a terrible sin and I am sure you endured a lot. In the same regard I know you know that homosexuality is the same - a sin. Jesus tells us to love the sinner and hate the sin, true, but in the same regards I believe that once we are cognizant of the sin we should immediately do our best to abstain, i.e., lay it on the alter. Prayers and best wishes, I will definitely keep you in my prayers =)I fought my homosexuality with religion for 20 years - now unable to get over the barrier. HOW?
I'm sorry to hear that you were abused when you were younger--that can really leave scars and can totally change your views.
But seriously, try to meet a member of the opposite sex whom you admire intellectually as well as physically.I fought my homosexuality with religion for 20 years - now unable to get over the barrier. HOW?
I'm sorry you've gone through so much. It sounds like you need to see a good, supportive therapist to help you work out your problems. I can understand if you want to remain private about your sexuality. I'm straight myself, but I would imagine that the flamboyant %26quot;gay pride%26quot; stuff probably isn't for all gays and lesbians.
I honestly believe that people are born with the predisposition to be gay. Many argue that homosexuality is unnatural, but it has been found in dogs, cats, sperm whales, tsetse flies, and yes, human beings. Perhaps God did intend for some life forms to be attracted to members of the same sex.
I wish you lots of luck!:)I fought my homosexuality with religion for 20 years - now unable to get over the barrier. HOW?
Before you can find love you need to deal with the issues of your past, you can't move forward until you have dealt with the past.
If you were abused as a child this may have given you feeling towards your own sex, only you and a consular can answer this.
Changing your life all the time is a way of getting away from the past, but your past goes with you where ever you go and all of your escaping will only lead you back to where you are now, trying to deal with your homosexual feelings.
But please get the help the you need, when a vast amount of therapy is the only thing that can help you, then if you, when you are of a clear mind you can find God, and i think he will love you no matter what religion or sexuality you are.
You don't have to out and proud if you don't want to be, sexuality isn't a big issue, it doesn't define who you are its just how you feel right living your life, and i am sure you will meet a man that has the same perspective as you on gay pride.
All the luck in the world, if you left an abusive home then this is the easy bit:- living XI fought my homosexuality with religion for 20 years - now unable to get over the barrier. HOW?
God can't change you. He will only give you the strength to change yourself. I believe homosexuality is immoral(the bible says so), but I have met people who are gay and they go throught the same feelings that straight people do, which gave me a greater understanding. Don't fight your feelings with religion. Find a support group that will help you. Just be happy with who you are.I fought my homosexuality with religion for 20 years - now unable to get over the barrier. HOW?
It is your life.. i think that you can live your life as you like as long as it does not halm others. As you were abused as a child, I understand how things seem very hard! Just try doing exactly what is right for you, and see how it goes.I fought my homosexuality with religion for 20 years - now unable to get over the barrier. HOW?
Zen master Thich Nat hahn has said, %26quot;To love is, first of all, to accept yourself as you actually are.%26quot; I think the first step for you may be to have compassion for yourself. you have been through a lot as a child that may have made you feel like you are not OK, but realize you are OK there is nothing %26quot;wrong%26quot; with you. When you can feel that love and compassion for yourself you will draw more love into your life and be able to accept it without fear.
