hello my lovely people. :) So I'm 16 and in high school, and all my life I've been a people-pleaser. I would change and alter myself just to be friends with EVERYONE, and I just get tried of it. But you are who you are right? I'm deciding to stop pleasing people and start acting like myself, once I figure out how to be myself. i have my own interests and am different from everyone else. It's impossible to change your true personality. I mean everyone's different, has different interests, talks differently and has their own quirk. That's just your nature and you just can't change that, you just have to follow it for yourself to be happy correct? But what makes people different? Is it the way your born? I havent been myself for so long that I don't really understand why I enjoy the things I do, and how they are naturally different than the girl next door, and little by little I am trying to discover my identity, but what makes up my identity? Is it just the way i am, the way I was born?Your true identity never changes?
Identity does change over time. It would be quite strange if it didn't, considering the different situations, mental factors and experiences between then and now.
Attempting to identify your identity - well, that's just going to limit you. You're going to end up saying of certain things %26quot;that's not who I am, so I wont try it%26quot; - it's almost inevitable. (Someone once advised me that if I ever felt like I had an identity, I should immediately try to counter it so as not to limit myself. Would be bad, taken to extremes, but I hope you get the point). Just try new things, and do what you feel happy doing. Self-concious %26quot;idenities%26quot; are usually wrong anyway.
Personality traits are a mix of genetic factors and environmental factors.
EDIT: Quote. I like it, anyway:
%26quot;Every man has three characters: that which he shows, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has.%26quot; (Alphonse Karr)Your true identity never changes?
well you are very young, but these behaviors are things you can get over if you want to. but it takes a lot of work. i recovered by dancemeditation. you can't think your way out of it. you can and will change over your life. pursue a deep spiritual path to accelerate it. eventually identity does not matter at all.Your true identity never changes?
At 16 you are about five years too young to make use of this, but I am going to let you know about it anyway, because you sound sharp and intelligent and like you want to learn about yourself. Go to http://www.lifecourseinstitute.com
Click on CONCEPTS for about fifty major ideas of Dr. Alfred Adler, the most influential psychologist of the past 100 years.
Click on his name to find out about him.
Then click on LEAP (at the top of the left-hand column) and look at the ten LifeCourse Patterns I've outlined there. They summarize Adler main ideas into patterns everyone creates when they are children to manage their lives.
Use them to outline your own search for who you are, the %26quot;contents%26quot; of your personality. They are the most complete way yet to learn ab ut yourself in depth yet in a short time. -- Dr. Bob, Adlerian PsychologistYour true identity never changes?
i think you think too much, it sounds like your over analysing. everyone is different, people are different for all sorts of reasons, e.g. their environment, where they come from, parents, genes. it's just your nature, who ever you feel to be is you.
i mean life is about change, people are constantly changing. when you are a teenager your personality changes a whole lot. just don't be a people pleaser it is not worth it and don't compare yourself to other people it can make you feel bad.
i agree with j.
P.S. don't worry yourself about this, it's not worth itYour true identity never changes?
you are who you are, and you can't change who you are at your very core.
BUT being a people pleaser is NOT who you are. being a people pleaser is partly your way to AVOID being who you are.
As to why you are people pleaser....look at your background. were you raised to be the good girl and do as mommy and daddy told you and you're trying to appease the authority figures in your life? (this is a very common reason for most people pleasers)
Were you taught that in order to be a %26quot;nice%26quot; person you have to make everyone happy and not upset anyone? (another common reason and one that is taught to females almost exclusively. BTW: not possible to do. You can't please everyone all of the time and you can't some people ever)
Were the authority figures in your life so unreliable that you decided you needed to be super reliable and dependable? (MY reason for being a former people pleaser)
Accept the fact that everyone is not going to like you. Accept the fact that you can't live your life in a manner that will gain you acceptance from everyone. figure out who you are and be true to yourself. Always have compassion for others and offer assistance when you are able, but don't try to live your life to please others without taking your own needs and wants into consideration as well.
