I am 22 years old and a feminist (meaning I am all for equal rights, not a man hater like some people think feminism means). I've always struggled with the concept of how to do last names for marriage. I am not anywhere near marriage but need to settle this in my mind.
The evolution of the ideas I've had...
1. Keep my last name.
Seems logical. However, a college professor pointed out (who was a female who changed her last name to her husband's, making her biased) that the last name I have now is a male name and even changing to my mother's maiden name wouldn't work because again, that was her mother's father's name.
2. Hyphenating.
Seems kind of complicated, awkward and too long. Just a mash up of your names. I'm really not a fan of this one but maybe it's the most egalitarian. What would kids of mine do though?
3. Create a new last name entirely.
This is the best I can come up with right now. But I wonder if I have kids and say I have one boy and one girl. What if the boy married a woman...wouldn't be fair for her to take his last name. Wouldn't want him to necessarily change his identity to her last name, although that does seem to be the most fair considering women are the ones having the babies. Otherwise everyone has to create new last names every time....seems too complicated.
Before someone tries to suggest just take the man's last name, obviously I've put a lot of thought into this...years into it actually. Obviously I am pretty feminist and simply taking a man's last name does not sit well with me. I think it's symbolic also of how women are forced to change their identity into their husband's wife. I want to know other intellectual and feminist's thoughts on this issue.How should last names be changed for marriage?
Assuming your future husband to be is fairly open minded, I would offer a fourth suggestion. Both of you change your names to include the other name. So your maiden name becomes both of your middle names. Jane Doe marries John Smith. After marriage they are Jane Doe Smith and John Doe Smith. That way you have taken each others names and remain fairly equal.How should last names be changed for marriage?
I am very much a feminist and decided to take my husbands last name. Well first of all my last name was horrible so it made it an easier choice but I would have anyway. As women we really do hold all the power in the relationship.
In my family anyway, I am the primary bread winner, we get to have the children, we are the rock in the family. When all else fails go to mom, she'll fix it. The least I can do it take my husbands name to show my love for him. Honestly, when it boils down to it I love my husband with all my heart and I WANTED to share his name.
There is not right nor wrong answer to this question. It really depends how you feel when you meet %26quot;the one%26quot;.
Edit -- I am not sure why you asked this question if you were going to talk down to those who give you their opinions. I did not tell you what to do I said there is no right or wrong answer here. Obviously you feel by taking on a man's name you are %26quot;property%26quot;. That is not how I feel but since you are so convinced this is the case don't take on your future husbands name.How should last names be changed for marriage?
i don't understand what the big deal is on taking the husbands name, it seems strange to just make up a last name, you'd have to both change you names. you are putting way too much thought into it, if you don't want to take his name and you don't want to Hyphenate your name, how about you not change it at all. problem solved.How should last names be changed for marriage?
just take his last name.How should last names be changed for marriage?
Its OK to keep your name the only reason it started was to make a complete family unit--like the Smith family--when now a days so many professionals do not change their names due to the fact that all of their degrees are in their born giving name---its no big deal really-unless you have children and you think that they will think its odd to have a Mom who is different--even then I don't see that happening...How should last names be changed for marriage?
i can't really tell you what to do, but you may not want to make your decision just yet, your future husband may not be open to the idea of changing his name at all, so that option might not even be there!
I am changing my name to his because A. I am sick of spelling out my hard to pronounce last name B. I like his last name and C. I like the idea of becoming one family unit, ie: The Jones FamilyHow should last names be changed for marriage?
Shave your underarms there Chewbacca and take his last name... unless your plan on marrying a woman, which last I checked isn't exactly legal in most states....
Hint: Go with Gilette, it shaves the best...
